Entries Tagged 'solipsism' ↓

I wrote myself an email a year ago (which you can do from FutureMe or Futuremail) when I was in a mood influenced from Seasonal Affected Disorder plus job and personal life disorder. While I’m actually no better off one year later, juding by my life’s highlights, for some reason I am just mentally in a better place, I care less about all the impending doom and gloom. To be honest, I didn’t even read the letter from PastJo, since I basically know what it said and I really don’t want to dwell on the negatives, as large as they may seem. Maybe I needed to give myself more than a year to get my situations in order. Maybe I’m just a more balanced person right now. The “fundamentals” of my life are strong even if some circumstances suck, and for that I’m happy.

It was pretty wild to have the past show up in my Inbox though. I’ll probably give it another whirl, maybe sending both shorter term and longer term messages to my future self, to see if I can inspire myself and just have an intimate personal record of my thoughts, unlike this here public record.

You can make the letters public on FutureMe. Some are quite compelling, but it’s also interesting to see that my problems are not unique, the same themes run through most peoples’ lives. I do sort of wish this existed when I was a teenager, so I could have, say, an annual letter to myself, like the state of Jo, or some such. It’s a neat idea as a way to publish your memoirs, if you have a good enough span of time to see how your voice changes and life experiences shape you over time. Now there’s an idea.

Tonight for me is not a party night like it used to be when I was younger. Oh I am drinking a fine Jockamo IPA from the Abita brewery, I just prefer a slower, more thoughtful pace these days.

jockamo

I’ve made no resolutions, although this time of year does make me reflective. Making goals is always beneficial, maybe I will over the next month or so as I ponder my next move. It certainly won’t hurt if I really plan the big changes that my career currently needs. But I take things one step at a time, and I’ve started up at the gym recently, a first for sticking to it even this long. I have some other things brewing which have been on my plate for a while. Maybe I’ll get over my online shyness to share, but maybe not. Even though I know my privacy is decreasing with each year, it’s still hard for me to accept and I’ve been fighting personal openness ever since us crazy kids moved to that military fort in the North Sea when privacy and security became our business.

I have no ground-shaking thoughts for your personal journey in life, but I do have a clever graphic from Sean’s, which is always a good starting point for reflection:

fish evolution

Maybe you’ve moved beyond the religion debates, I feel I have mostly, except when I catch myself pleading to the vapors that if I’m good could things just work out the way I want them to. But even doing something as simple as watching a movie called Slumdog Millionaire I remember that most people haven’t moved beyond this powerful, invisible force of destruction called religion. If you want to have beliefs, spirituality, a-ok but don’t organize or even participate in a system that punishes anyone for being different. It’s that simple. By participating, you give credence to the idea-set than any distributed identity espouses.

I wish us all a happy new year, and a long and prosperous journey.

I haven’t really maintained my livejournal, at least until twitter came along and I could auto-tweet into LJ. So I’m not sure where this blog will go but at minimum, it’s my space and will be used for my own entertainment and memory system. Duh.

I tried living a stable life, working at a solid job in finance with a great benefits package, 20 days of vacation a year, house in the burbs, but I am once again feeling restless. This used to happen every 2 years and it’s been much more than that this time. Or it could just be this market causing me to want more living in my life now that the big payday will not come like it has before. I’m exploring again, out of my hidey hole of stability. Hello World!